The Wonders of Arlia

Greene

Quick facts

Origin: Grown in Dr. Gero’s labs from synthetic DNA templates · Party: The Cacklers · Weapon: Power Pole · Formerly: Rose Ribbon Army · Status: Alive (as of C2 Session 83)

Greene is a founding member of The Cacklers and a deserter from the Rose Ribbon Army. He finished runner-up in the Greatest Below the Heavens tournament, sealed King Piccolo away, and later learned that his whole past had been manufactured.

Overview

Greene fights with the Power Pole he received from Master Toshi, which he uses as a weapon, a vaulting pole and, more than once, a grappling line. He is blunt, quick to violence and the closest thing the Cacklers have to a front man. He gave the city of North City its rallying cry, and he is the one who summed up the group’s habits: “We typically don’t ask questions. We just kill.”

History

Campaign 1

Recruitment. The Ox-Queen summoned Greene to Ginger Town because he had abandoned the Rose Ribbon Army. On the coast of Ginger Peach, Master Toshi told him the story of the Evil King Piccolo and gave him the Power Pole. On the road to Pepper City, Greene picked up a Medallion of Luck, then handed it to the goblin boss Karl when the party was outnumbered. A dryad later warned him that the medallion’s curse stayed with him until it was returned to its rightful resting place. At Fortuneteller Yaba’s palace he fought Lawrence Cyan, who was back from the dead on a one-day pass.

Beerlia. Greene came through the portal from the Toasty Temple badly hurt and was captured on arrival. A yeerk was put in his ear, and for several days Visser 3 controlled his body. While possessed he killed Rachel, second in command of the Island Watch. Once freed, Greene destroyed Him (Cassie) in the collapsing sea cave. On Mount Paozo he and Goku distracted the dragon Giras while the others stole a Star Orb, and there he talked Terra Misu Umber into deserting and joining the party.

Korrin’s Tower and Kami. With Elyon, Greene crossed the Tabasco Forest to Korrin’s Tower, killed an adult black dragon at its base, and climbed for three days. He went on to Kami’s Lookout and trained with Kami and Mr. Popo in the Room of Spirit and Time, lasting almost two months by the room’s clock. Kami told him that he and Piccolo were two halves of one being, tethered so that if one died, so did the other.

North City and the tournament. Greene recruited Jebidiah as a spy in North City. The night of the opening ceremony, Mercenary Tao nearly killed him in his bed. Greene reached the tournament final and lost to Elyon when her Kienzan sent him crashing out of bounds. The Collector paid him 25,000 gold as runner-up.

West City and Piccolo. Cornered by King Piccolo, Greene handed him a Star Orb, which Piccolo swallowed. When Piccolo killed Oolong for healing Sophie, Greene brought him back with Revivify. At the Parmesan Diego state hall, Greene and Sophie spoke out publicly against the Rose Ribbon Army. Back in North City, he and Bulma Briefs had an awkward exchange over vodka in which he explained that the plumbing “won’t work” and she decided he had a “talented tongue.”

Against the Collector. In the final fight with the Collector, Greene took the worst of the Collector’s claws and was nearly Dominated. Afterward, a capsule dumped the party into the bedroom of Bulma’s ex-boyfriend, who was stalling them for a Rose Ribbon patrol. Greene, aiming for the man’s temple, hit him “a little too far in” and killed him. That night he dreamed of tubes of floating bodies and a striped monster that told him, “You are fucking around with things you don’t understand.”

Werewolf, tiger, Were-Cackler. Captain Rootbeard bit Greene during the tavern ambush on Scotch on the Rocks. During the Rose Ribbon invasion of North City, Greene beheaded a dragon on live report and called out to the city: “The Rose Ribbon will burn. Stand strong and join us.” In the naval battle that followed, a hit turned his hair orange and his eyes greenish yellow, and he changed into a giant tiger. On the way to Rice Town, under a full moon, the werewolf curse and the Collector’s attack combined and he became the “Were-Cackler.” He killed Oolong and mauled Juliette, infecting both. No restoration magic worked, because a cure meant killing every were-creature up the line to the original.

Rice Town and Dr. Gero’s lab. When the Rootbeer Float went down in the ice, Greene saved the Brumestone core by snagging it with his extended pole. In Grimscale Tower he rammed his pole through a construct’s mouth, revived Juliette with a diamond and a prayer to Kami, stabbed a charmed moonstone dragon through the eye, and killed the archmage who had looted the party. In Dr. Gero’s notes the party learned Greene had been grown from synthetic DNA and that his memories of absent parents, kitchen work and military training were fabricated. Terra asked, “So, Dr. Gero is your dad?”

The sea hag. To get the mermaid princess back and lift the curse, Greene traded the sea hag a hair from his head, noting he’d be “dead in a couple months anyway.” His terms: the hair could never be used for the Rose Ribbon Army, the princess had to be released alive and well, and the party’s transformations had to end while they kept the curse’s resistance. Back in North City he asked Dr. Briefs to build a bomb big enough to wipe the Rose Ribbon facility off the map if they lost. That night Commander Red’s voice rang through his head: “You will lose.”

Piccolo’s end. In the final fight with King Piccolo, Greene burned a hole through Piccolo’s stomach with a Kamehameha. A Star Orb shot out and turned to stone. When Juliette dragged Piccolo’s soul back, Greene channeled the Mafuba and sealed him in the jar with Toshi’s talisman. (Kami came back with Piccolo, so the Star Orbs survived.)

Endgame. After Shenlong revived everyone the Rose Ribbon Army had killed, Greene faced the returned Cyan and told him, “I suspected for a while that I signed up for more than I bargained for, but I thought a good person could change things.” Oolong left him a figurine of the two of them with their arms around each other. Greene hugged everyone goodbye and took the helm of the Rootbeer Float, bound for North City.

Campaign 1.5

About twenty years after the Rose Ribbon Army fell, Dr. Gero and Android 19 attacked North City. Gero told Greene he had waited twenty years for revenge and that Greene “picked the wrong side.” Greene pointed out that nobody was even chasing him. Greene’s Power Pole crashed through Gero’s chest in a burst of radiant energy. The dying Gero grabbed him and pulled him close. “I was your greatest creation,” Greene told him. “Now I take you with me,” Gero answered, and blew himself up. Greene survived (C1.5 Chapter 01).

When the Cacklers found the creature emptying towns, it asked him, “Why do you fight it, Greene? Come with me, and you’ll be in a world of simply pure perfection.” In the Tabasco Forest he killed an owlbear by sticking the Power Pole in its mouth and extending it out through its butt. Perfect Cell later named Greene as one of the Cacklers he was made from (C1.5 Chapter 02).

At The Cell Games, Jimmy Firecracker introduced him as “the man who smote the Rose Ribbon Army,” tournament runner-up. Greene beheaded a Cell Junior, was stunned out of the air, and sliced Cell from head to torso, only to watch him stitch himself back together. Cell beat him down and stabbed his tail into Greene’s back, but healing magic kept him alive. He was one of the four left standing (C1.5 Chapter 03).

Campaign 2

Greene appears as one of the veteran Cacklers in North City. When The Whisper turned four Saiyans into Ozaroo apes, Greene cut off Goku’s tail with a legendary blade (Session 65) and then severed Prince Vegeta’s tail, dropping him back to his normal form (Session 66). Afterward Kami warned him that a new guardian from Namek would be needed to keep the Star Orbs working.

After the assassin Scorch killed Will Jr., Greene brought him back with divine magic (Session 67). He then organized the mission to Namek, and with Ellery tracked Vegeta down at the Cackler Barrel to send him as emissary (Session 68). Greene was one of the four left standing when Perfect Cell was declared defeated at The Cell Games (Session 70).

Relationships

  • The Cacklers: His found family. Terra’s wedding vows listed what each of them had lost; for Greene, it was his brother.
  • Elyon: Travel partner to Korrin’s Tower and his opponent in the tournament final.
  • Oolong: Greene revived him more than once and also killed him once as the Were-Cackler.
  • Juliette: He told her to focus on the living part after she grieved leaving her family in the dream plane.
  • Jebidiah: An ally Greene recruited in North City, who greeted him with a hug when they returned.
  • Dr. Gero: The scientist whose notes revealed Greene as an engineered test subject. Gero came back for revenge twenty years later and died fighting him.
  • Master Toshi: His mentor.

Notable quotes

  • “The Rose Ribbon will burn. Stand strong and join us.”
  • “We typically don’t ask questions. We just kill.”
  • “I was your greatest creation.” (to Dr. Gero)
  • “Sounds like you really don’t want your kid back.” (to the mermaid king)
  • “I suspected for a while that I signed up for more than I bargained for, but I thought a good person could change things.”

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